Horseback Riding in Warkworth

M and I went up to Auckland at the beginning of July. My main reason for going up then was because I wanted to visit my friend Hisami, who had come to NZ from Japan to work on a horse ranch. (Hisami is one of those amazing people who quietly goes about doing amazing things with her time and never really boasts about it to anybody. Like, she spent a summer in India and volunteered at Mother Theresa's school for children. "How amazing!" I said, amazed. "What was it like?" Hisami answered, "Well..they beat the kids there.")

I was incredibly excited to go visit Hisami, as I have been missing my Tokyo friends very much.

This is a picture of her ranch:


It was a beautiful and warm winter day. Here in New Zealand, I am finding that the sun in winter isn't the pale, wan variety I am used to elsewhere. You can still very much feel its warmth, and you seek out the baked-golden spots of sun just like you would the cool shadows of shade in summer. Even the winter rays are warm enough to make you want to shed your coat and lay down a blanket.

Warkworth is about an hour's drive north of Auckland through postcard-perfect rolling hills and quaint farms. If you close your eyes and try to imagine the kind of farms you find in illustrated children's books, that is pretty much what the countryside looked like--

vibrant green fields
wide blue sky
weathered red barns
little fluffy sheep
small brown ducks flapping in ponds
E I E I O

We rolled into Warkworth just in time for our scheduled hour long ride. I saw Hisami come out from behind an old shed and we ran towards each other, laughing. Seeing her felt like a rush of home. It was so lovely, in all the recent newness, to be able to feel the comfort of someone familiar, someone with whom I shared a depth born of shared experiences and culture. Newness is exciting, of course, a daily adventure that keeps you on your toes! But I had been feeling a bit...stretched. The constant tide of making impressions and being impressed, the continuous seeking and searching, the effort of keeping my eyes and mind open and alert--all of it is undeniably stimulating and challenging but...!

Sometimes, it's all a bit like putting together a giant new 1,000,000 piece jigsaw puzzle and hitting plateaus of feeling a bit numb, or a bit intimidated. Sometimes, I just want to skip all the trial and error and get to the end--when I can see the whole picture and know how all the pieces fit.

Anyway, the happiness and relief of being reunited with an old friend was good for both of us, I think. Hisami looked beautiful in that I've-been-working-in-the-fresh-air sort of way. She introduced me to the owner of the ranch, and we all gathered round for our safety briefing and instructions before getting on the horses.

I pay very keen attention to these things.

Our very important lesson, however, was over in what seemed like 30 seconds.

"Alright, folks! This is the way you trot walk turn left right stop. Don't get too close behind another horse you might get kicked pay attention to your horse's ears if they lay flat that means they are unhappy, just kick with your legs to get them started, okay thanks let's GO!"

From the brevity and levity of our Beginner Basics 101, I thought that horseback riding was going to be a CINCH. Just like the pony rides at the fair.

We got assigned horses according to our height. M is tall, so he was assigned the ominously named, Terminator. I am short, so I was assigned an old nag named Kiri. At least, I hoped she was an old nag because with my inexperience, I preferred a gentle, one-hoof-in-the-glue-factory type of horse. I was looking forward to a relaxing ride...a paddle-boat gliding on a pond sort of thrill. I don't get off on speed, much. When I ride my bike down steep hills, I have one hand screeching the brakes all the way down. I downhill ski with a backpack full of snacks so I can stop for frequent munchies on the way down.

Anyway, Kiri seemed gentle enough, which was very reassuring. She was a small, dark brown horse--one of the smaller horses--a little nutty kernel of a horse. When I sat on top of her, however, I was surprised at how high it felt. Nothing like the pony rides at the fair. Her mane was surprisingly soft, and I patted her neck awkwardly, introducing myself. I nattered away at her, while Hisami helped Mark onto The Terminator. I took a picture of Kiri's head.

This is Kiri's head:


We set off in a line--Hisami in front on Black Beauty, M on The Terminator in the middle, and me on Kiri bringing up the rear. Things got kind of shaky from the very beginning as I promptly noticed that Kiri did not seem to be heeding some of the IMPORTANT safety instructions that I had taken such keen note of before. All I could hear was the owner's voice warning-- "Don't get too close behind another horse you might get kicked..." playing over and over in my head like alarm bells while I uneasily noticed that Kiri's nose was almost buried in the folds of The Terminator's ass.

Of course, I reacted by drawing upon the knowledge I gained from my 10 second steering lesson. I jerked awkwardly on Kiri's reins and called out to Hisami, "I think I'm too close to Terminator!", my voice ending in a quiver that sounded a bit shrill, even to me. Hisami just told me to slow down, which I tried to say I was attempting to do, but somehow my continued flapping and pulling on the reins was not communicating anything to my horse. I did manage to pull Kiri over to the side a bit, though, and just as I was starting to feel relieved, she turned and bit The Terminator on the butt.

The Terminator (and M) barely registered the bite, but I was shocked. Not only was it rude, but I was thinking that Kiri was pretty bold to fuck with a horse named The Terminator. Still, the incident seemed to blow over with little reaction from anyone, so I tried to let it go and enjoy the amazing scenery. To be honest, however, my eye kept drifting back to the proximity of The Terminator's smooth, chestnut-brown, ENORMOUS bum and I wondered what constituted a safe distance away from it.

We got up to the top of a small hill and stopped at what looked like a water trough. All the horses gathered for a drink with Kiri and I joining last. As we approached the trough, though, I saw Kiri's ears suddenly bristle and cock back like rattlesnakes posed to strike. Before I could say, "Hey...whoa...she looks unhap--", she snorted, bolted, and snapped her jaws at the head of Hisami's horse!

Hisami made a face at Kiri and trotted away laughing it off. My heart, on the other hand, was racing and I was feeling more than a bit jumpy, wondering if this was all going to end like some horrible medieval battle scene--Kiri rearing on her hind legs, bucking me off, my limp body trampled and dragged by my clearly insane and possibly rabid horse. As we ambled off again, I called on my Horse Girl knowledge and tried to speak in soothing tones to Kiri, all the while keeping an eye on looming horse buttocks and twitchy horse ears. Every time we got too near an ass, I would start twitching in an epileptic fit and go all ape-shit on the reins.

Needless to say, Kiri wasn't diggin' that.

Kiri, being a smart horse, caught on really quickly. She knew I was inexperienced and nervous, and she started to take advantage of that. As Hisami and M moved into a trot, Kiri defiantly ignored my kicking feet and veered off to the side of the path and started casually munching on some grass.

"You need to be FIRM!!" Hisami shouted to me. "Pull on the reins! She knows you aren't controlling her!"

"NO, KIRI!" I said firmly. I yanked on the reins. "NO!!" Kiri gave me a dirty look but reluctantly plodded on...I could feel her resentment building. I suddenly thought that Kiri was a bit like that stubborn student that comes along and does everything to test your limits. You need to show the student, firmly but compassionately, that the boundaries are there for a reason and you will not be pushed beyond them. The thing is, I KNOW how to assert myself in a classroom...and it is definitely not through kicking flanks and yanking on leather reins! I didn't know how to be firm with a horse, and anything I did, I felt like Kiri could see right through it. I was timid with my kicks, nervous with the reins...I would say, "Good girl" in soft tones and then suddenly freak out and wail, "What the---NOOOOOOOO, Kiri!" In short, I was all over the shop.

By the time we got to the field where we were all supposed to try trotting--maybe a cantor--a gallop even...Kiri knew who was boss (she was). Hisami said to start trotting, and she and Mark gave a kick and were immediately off on the path--their horses' manes flying in the wind, the air filled with the cloppety-clop of their hooves. I, on the other hand, ALSO gave my horse a kick...and instead of following them in swift pursuit, feeling the ground rushing beneath my feet, I found myself feebly bobbing up and down chirping, "GO! GO, KIRI!" on a horse that felt more resolutely rigid than a Merry-go-Round statue.

"GOOO, KIRI!" kick, kick "GO!" Kiri looked back at me once, maybe twice, and I can only describe her gaze as: withering. We took a final photo.


I had fun. I really did. As jittery as I was, there was a part of me laughing inside the entire time. I gave Kiri three carrots after the ride and her horse lips were surprisingly soft and gentle.